And it was all going so well…
I just found out that we’ve been turned down for the mortgage we were trying to get. This is not the worst thing that could have happened as we have a Plan B; however it is a bit of a low moment and we hadn’t really had one of those yet.
In all honesty it was going quite smoothly, and we had talked ourselves (or at least I had) into a place where we couldn’t really envisage it going wrong. Yet things do, life happens and I have to accept it and deal with the situation at hand, rather than ranting and raving about the unfairness of it all.
My instinct is to not blog about this because writing about it makes it real… but I couldn’t do that to you could I? I can’t just give you all the best bits without communicating the absolute reality of dealing with mortgage lenders and the housing market within a recession; and it’s hardly a diary of events if I skip over the obstacles.
I wish, more than anything, that this had all gone through as planned, but ‘wish’ is probably one of the most over-used, and pointless words in the English language.
1. to want; desire; long for (usually fol. by an infinitive or a clause): I wish to travel. I wish that it were morning. 2. to desire (a person or thing) to be (as specified): to wish the problem settled. 3. to entertain wishes, favorably or otherwise, for: to wish someone well; to wish someone ill. 4. to bid, as in greeting or leave-taking: to wish someone a good morning. 5. to request or charge: I wish him to come.
I bracket the sentiment along with others like ‘deserve’ and ‘fair’ – words that imply the user wants to simply be exempt from life / hard times and is just in it for the smooth ride. Wish is nonacceptance, wish is fantasy, and wish is not going to get me off the floor and on the phone to call the Plan B which has been waiting quietly in the wings knowing that I would eventually have to turn to it.
In many ways this is not an awful development. The current, and recently scuppered, Plan A saved us a bit of money, however it wasn’t the most appropriate mortgage package. Plan B is much more straightforward.
Plan A might say “I’ll show you this gorgeous plate of food but please don’t ask me how many E numbers and genetically modified products are in it”; while Plan B might say “Here’s your dinner, it’s meat and two veg, I hope you like it”. There are no vegetarian options, and if they don’t eat meat we will start planting tomatoes.
All in all, I’ve pretty much talked myself into the fact that this isn’t the end of the world, even if it is the end of this particular road.
OK… so £1,300 and 2 weeks later we are in reverse; still, as per my reference in My Perfect Guesthouse, even Edison himself didn’t invent the lightbulb first time round.