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Omlettes and other eggsperiments

Last night Danny and I had an omlette competition. Assuming it was quicker to make our own the way we wanted to, rather than arguing about the way we should make a joint one, we grabbed our separate pans and set about creating the perfect breakfast omlette (for dinner).

This would have been a great plan, unfortunately I was starving hungry and, unlike Danny who can sometimes ‘forget to eat’ and not really suffer, I absolutely cannot function without food. I get grumpy, I get snappy, and I lose every ounce of patience I had (which, let’s face it, isn’t that much). Consequently my omlette became about shoving eggs and other ingredients in a saucepan as quickly as humanly possible, while nibbling cheese from the huge block of Stilton that had been left out from Christmas.

While Danny was sauteing mushrooms I was trying to whisk un-melted butter in with cold eggs, all thoughts of herbs forgotten in a bid to get the food in the pan in under 2 minutes or less. Maybe it would have helped if we’d have been making our omlettes for each other, maybe I would have taken more care if I’d have known I was responsible for Danny’s dinner?

As it was, all that effort only got mine on its plate 2 minutes before Danny, who sat down next to me and proceeded to eat an omlette that looked like it could have been served at an organic gastropub. My omlette looked like a big pile of mashed potato hiding the odd mushroom / bacon bit / piece of pepper, complemented by, slightly too big, bits of Stilton.

Stubborn and competitive to the end I spent a lot of the meal sulking that I actually had to eat my omlette, blaming the fact that it looked pretty disgusting on the size of the pan, the number of eggs I’d used, and the way I’d sliced the mushrooms. I eventually had to concede that Danny had indeed won the competition, and while his response to winning was to suggest that I practice, mine was to suggest that he should be the designated ‘omlette cooker’ when relevant.

Not being a huge egg fan the last few days have been testing to say the least. After a relatively successful breakfast for 8 people last Sunday (marred only by the fact that my parents have an open plan kitchen and all our guests saw me throwing a tantrum when the egg poachers didn’t work the way I’d expected) I was forced to spend the afternoon experimenting with a variety of different egg poachers we’d procured (I suspect as a result of my blog on egg poaching) over Christmas.

Armed with a notepad, a pen, and a stopwatch Danny stood over me while we tested timings, levels of water, and boiling points for both silicone and plastic poachers. As each egg was upended onto a plate tasting became less and less enthusiastic.

Arriving home last night to be greeted by a grinning Danny armed with yet more eggs I groaned as I contemplated what impact eating all these eggs would have on my insides. Why couldn’t it be sausages we needed to practice, or even grilled mushrooms.

The staple ingredient for any cooked breakfast eggs are both flexible, cost-effective and tasty however, at this stage in the proceedings, the only thing preventing me from jumping on the non-dairy bandwagon is the promise of practicing American Pancakes, after all there are some forms of eggs that you can never get enough of.

Lee Rotbart says:

Mmmm… yummy, am loving the use of day old croissants.

Felicity says:

Hi Lee
Can’t help with poaching, I love poached eggs and have never found and implement to do the job satisfactorily. The best I’ve done is stell fresh eggs in boiling water with vinegar trying pathetically to make a whirlpool like delia says. If you find a foolproof method please let me know.

However being someone who doesn’t take failure well I have discovered a new favourite way to have my eggs: scrambled a la Gordon Ramsay. If I say the words: butter, cream, salmon and croissant you might understand my new love affair.

…And the best bit? Dav is a pro at making them; weekend mornings just got decadent!

http://scrapbookrecipes.blogspot.com/2010/12/scrambled-eggs-on-toasted-croissants.html

Linda Goodair says:

Never mind the guest house and the omelettes, I think you should be concentrating on writing your first book – I am thoroughly enjoying reading your entries, they are very entertaining. You were born to write, Lee!!

Ann Patey says:

Did you say you used a saucepan? For good omelettes use a frying pan!

Lee Rotbart says:

True… we are being thorough. That’s Danny though, not me… I’m ‘shortcut Sally’ when it comes to things like this ;-). Good job there’s two of us!

Emily says:

At least you’re being thorough about your cooking methods. I’m awful at making omelettes, but I know how to get perfect soft or hard boiled eggs sorted.